WELL TODAY I BEGIN MY POSTING EVERY DAY AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN… WHILST CUTTING UP FRUIT AND VEGETABLES FOR LAZY PEOPLE/MAKING FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS/HANGING TAGS AT ALBERTSON’S AFTER MY CO-WORKERS ARE ALL GONE, I FIND IT REALLY EASY TO DEBATE WITH MYSELF ABOUT THINGS IN THE SILENCE AND MUNDANENESS (NOT A WORD) OF MY SHITTY JOB. THERE ARE A LOT OF SUBJECTS THAT ONE CAN THINK ABOUT IN A SPAN OF 8 HOURS OR SO.
MOST RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO WRAP MY MIND AROUND WHAT THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF AN ANIMAL IS LIKE. IN MY ETHICS CLASS WE WERE DEBATING ABOUT THE ETHICALITY OF ABORTION, AND EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO DECIDE IN WHICH WEEK AN EMBRYO BECOMES “HUMAN” IN TERMS OF SENTIENCE, CONSCIOUSNESS OR HAVING A SOUL. AFTER ALL, THOSE THINGS ARE REALLY THE ONLY THINGS THAT DIFFER US (EXCEPT FOR MAMMALS WHICH HAVE SENTIENT FEATURES). IF THOSE THINGS DO NOT EXIST IN AN EMBRYO WHEN BEING DEVELOPED, THEN THEY ARE NO MORE HUMAN THAN AN ANIMAL. WITH THAT BEING SAID, I AM A STRICT VEGETARIAN AND ANIMAL LOVER. I VALUE ANY LIVING THING AS IMPORTANT AND FEEL IT SHOULD NOT BE HARMED UNNECESSARILY. I THINK ANYONE WHO DECIDES TO KILL THEIR UNBORN FETUS BECAUSE THEY JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE RAISING IT IS A COMPLETE IDIOT. JUST AS I THINK KILLING AN ANIMAL FOR SPORT IS COMPLETELY IDIOTIC. THOSE ARE ALSO JUST MY OPINIONS AND OPINIONS AREN’T PROVABLE SO DON’T GET OFFENDED. N E WAYS.
WHILE I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE SUBJECT, I REMEMBERED MY EXPERIENCE WITH DMT. IN CASE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, IT’S THE CHEMICAL IN YOUR BRAIN THAT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DREAMS. IT IS ILLEGAL TO MANUFACTURE OR POSSESS HERE IN THE STATES, BUT I DID IT ANYWAY. I THINK THAT MANY SUBSTANCES, ESPECIALLY NATURALLY OCCURRING ONES HAVE AN IGNORANT STIGMA ATTACHED TO THEM, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO GET INTO THAT AT THE MOMENTSKSKS. ABOUT 3 OR 4 MINUTES AFTER I INHALED THE DMT MY BRAIN CREATED AN ALTERNATE REALITY IN WHICH I WAS FALLING INTO AN ENDLESS COLORFUL ABYSS. THAT MOMENT BECAME MY REALITY, AS DO DREAMS NO MATTER HOW RIDICULOUS THEY ARE. DURING THIS STATE I WAS UNABLE TO COMPREHEND LIKE, SELF. SOMETHING THAT IS CALLED EGO-DEATH. BASICALLY YOU FEEL AS IF YOU ARE NOT APART FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD. DURING THIS TIME YOU AREN’T AWARE OF PAIN OR DEATH OR WHATEVER ELSE. BUT I REMEMBER IN THAT MOMENT FEELING AS IF SOMETHING WAS WRONG BECAUSE I HAD A STRANGE “FEELING” IN MY CONSCIOUSNESS, WHICH WAS REALLY JUST MY THROAT HURTING FROM INHALING THE SMOKE. I STARTED TO PANIC, NOT BECAUSE I WAS SCARED OF DYING OR WHATEVER, BUT BECAUSE I KNEW IT WASN’T RIGHT. HARD TO EXPLAIN IN WORDS. THE POINT IS THAT I THINK IT’S POSSIBLE THAT THIS IS HOW ANIMALS FEEL WHEN THEY ARE HURTING. I DON’T THINK THEY ARE ABLE TO COMPREHEND PAIN LIKE WE DO. AFTER ALL THEY AREN’T CAPABLE OF COMPARISONS WHICH MEANS THEY CAN’T COMPARE WHAT THE PAIN FEELS LIKE AS COMPARED TO BEFORE WHEN THEY WEREN’T HAVING PAIN. SOOOO I THINK THEY ARE JUST LIKE OH WELL THIS IS JUST LIFE AND THERE IS NO OTHER WAY. THEY PROBABLY KNOW SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT, BUT THEY CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS. WHICH IS SO WEIRD TO THINK ABOUT.
I’LL STILL CONTINUE NOT EATING MEAT BECAUSE ANIMALS ARE MY FRIENDS. EXCEPT BEARS. THEY SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME. I MEAN, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU GONNA DO TO FIGHT OFF A BEAR? YOU COULD PROBABLY COME ACROSS A LION TOO LAZY TO ATTACK YOU OR AN ALLIGATOR IN SAFE DISTANCE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A BODY OF WATER, BUT A BEAR? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? CLIMB A TREE? THEY CAN CLIMB THOSE. UFC? NOT GOOD ENOUGH. ROLL UP IN A BALL AND PLAY DEAD? STILL GONNA GET YOUR LIMBS CLAWED OFF. STAND UP TALL AND LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYEBALLS? BEARS AIN’T SCURED. AND YOU CERTAINLY AREN’T GOING TO OUTRUN THE THING.